I have been an incredibly good husband I do more for her than most husbands would do for their wives but I work 7 days a week 12 hours a day and when I come home I just wanted to spend some time with her was I asking for too much? She tells me she has to let him stay there because her son really wants him to be around and i dont want to see him back on the streets doing drugs. But then after a counseling session she told me she needed some space to process her feelings/emotions. She said she does not know. To add to her stresses her mum has just had to have an eye operation which we hope isnt cancerous. I know it says husband but just take the husband and replace it with wife this could give you guidance as well. We met up for a casual drink and found out how much we had in common and how like minded we are. Your goals, your life focus back on what makes YOU happy. We just had the phone call about her needing space. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, Thanks. So who are you to question me like this? Youre giving her space because you can remember how badly youve needed that once for yourself and, seeing where thats gotten you now, you know firsthand that space and time can work wonders. together 8 months. She dont have any of her own. We meet in club, we kiss and the next day we though to get some coffee and wine. I think giving her space will give you back your sense of control but also give you time to reflect and make some changes for that not to happen again. 7 Things to NOT Do When She Says She Wants Space This was something that happened and probably shocked the both of you and as time goes on she will connect with you again. You become kind of addicted to your lover and lose yourself. After our breakup we continued to talk each night doing daily devotions together. Ive had a tough time understanding her thought process. She told me that she is unhappy with herself, she wants to go back to school, and wants to work on being happy in her own skin (my parents had told me that it looked like she was putting on weight). Im very glad she cares enough about me to tell me this before either one of us gets hurt, although she told me she felt like she was poison to me, which I didnt agree with entirely but I can see where shes coming from. A woman says she wants space or doesnt want you on her life, Yet still texts or comments on things posted through social media or views daily the many things Im doing and will be first to view straight as posted as though she has selected notification pop up on her phone for me, Why is that? This is the only way that you can dissect the relationship to see what you might have done wrong and how you can overcome this so you can support your partner now through positive actions and change. Right now i really do not know what to do, I found also a flat to move in order not to stay in a flat that is full of memories. Give this space. We offer 1 on 1 coaching programs that will cater to your specific needs. During that time, she would text me every 2 days or so to check in with me (and shes also an insecure person so it felt like she was making sure I was still around). And especially for Friday she said idk before I met you I used to come home on fridays and relax and now I cant and I dont want to always have to entertain you when I wanna relax. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. Relationships are not Hollywood stories that make us think every one of them is how they describe it in the movie THE NOTEBOOK and we are supposed to find someone to complete us, It takes work, a lot of understanding, and unconditional love, the art of balancing life while we have so many responsibilities and people that depend on us. I would focus back on yourself and work on building your confidence and falling in love with yourself. She has since initiated texts asking how I am and Ive asked her about some future dates we had booked in. A lot of this seemingly came out of nowhere too but was a repeat of previous doubts shes had. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/ and https://www.youtube.com/c/ApolloniaPonti Thank you for taking the time to read When She Says She Needs Space. actually we didnt talk since 2 weeksbut i dont know what to do, should i contact her and just be positive and be like: hey! She then says she needs space so I said ok. Well she would txt me goodnight and goodmorning and how my day was going. Heres where you could go to connect with one of our amazing coaches. Best. Since then she has basically gone on a smear campaigns rampage distorting the truth and sharing private conversations we had when I had been dumped by my ex and we had no contact for 6 months. So I started to seek external validation. Once you do this let her naturally come back. I am wondering what to do? I woke up the next day and said sorry for last night being weird she replied that she was so happy that she can share things like with me and that now she knows Im here for her and she can count on me for anything and that she will be here for me as well this was a week before christmas. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/ Will giving her the space she needs give me a chance at working things out with her? I would also suggest reading Amir Levines Attached book. Here are the links with more information. My girlfriend said she needed space from me so that she could be with other people sexually and explore herself. Then after i said her lets forget about all the things .can you answer me do you want to be stay with me or not.she said i dont know i want to be with you or not.please give me some time leave me alone for a while. We need to stop being so available for our girlfriends, we need to set standards and boundaries so we have respect too. I honestly do not want to let this woman slip through my fingers a second time. I feel like the worst is going to come and I wont be able to handle it. Then she asked if I wanted to have dinner later. As long distance relationship, we meet for 2 weeks and spend 1 month away when shes back her home. Hope to hear back. Thank you for your help! How do I handle it when she wants to talk a bit but not meet me during this time? Should I go with no contact and wait for her to contact? Recently I confronted her about repairing our relationship, and she said she wanted to work it out with me. Her dad died last August and since then our relationship went downhill. Thanks for reading this article about she says she needs space. I even tried to get the kids to do something with me this weekend but she said they have plans. Thanks! Apollonia. A lot of men think, How will she know I am more confident and how will she know I have changed? Thats the key right there! Ukraine war latest: Russian troops being 'placed in hole in ground She recently asked for space and did not expect it because she told me that Im always there for her and no one has ever done as much as i did to always be there for her. Hello Patrick, In December we met and we discussed about my insecurities as i used to get worried sometimes because she never used to talk about marriage and stuff But in December we sorted out everything and in the third week she left for Australia to meet her brother as she was meeting him after 2 years. She admitted during a text fight that she still loved me, but was so stressed out about everything in her life. it really hurt me to core and broke me into pieces.she is my best friend and we know how much we mean to each other but how come she took this decision? I told her this to show how strongly I felt towards her and that I respected her enough that I didnt want to hide anything from her should we begin a relationship. The best thing you can do is focus on you and your well-being. She told me that she needed the space to sort her doubts and feelings out. She has been there for me as well through tough times. Oh and she also kinda hides her phone from me from time to time if I like look over for a second. Two weeks ago, she stated she had a gut feeling about me and do not think it is going to work. She said it had only been 2 weeks and if Im expecting any hope right now the answer would be no. I couldnt see the signs because even the days prior to breaking up except for seeming like she didnt really want to talk she was still her normal affectionate self, grabbing my hand, kissing, not pulling away when I grabbed her hand but she was never really affectionate that much to begin with so her normal affection didnt trigger me to think anything was wrong. and she replied thank you and to take care of yourself always. How Long She did apply for a new job elsewhere last month and have put her resignation in, but talking the other day she said she might stay, cause she feels bad leaving her boss struggling to find someone to replace her and others. Apollonia, Hi Apollonia, Sunday afternoon we go on a date, I told her I didnt like to be reminded of the past and thats why I shushed my sister. Space is not a bad thing. I blew up and accused her of stepping out on me. Get hobbies, make time with friends. However, at that time, she broke up with her ex. Once you change that mindset and gain more confidence that will change the dynamics of the relationship. That doesnt mean that you try and prove that youre the right one for her if someones not ready for a relationship, theyre not ready for a relationship that has nothing to do with you but trying to prove yourself or get them to validate you or make you feel better about the situation is only going to push someone away. She answer have a fun with new girlfriend. I hardly remember the convo and she hasnt text me since then. I would love to do the coaching but I cant afford to at the moment. Should I contact her. We ended that conversation on very good terms even joked and had a little sexual tension and flirtation. I drove home that night and she still sent me a text telling me to be careful driving and to get home safe (which made me feel like, although frustrated, she still cares). You doing this will ruin the relationship. Which has now caused this issue that she said she wants to be on her own she doesnt know what she wants, she just said she doesnt feel like herself anymore. Two weeks ago, she told me on the phone that she had this feeling of wanting to disappear and withdraw, and I told her that thats fine and that Id be waiting for her to come back when shes ready. Im your dating, relationship, and life coach, and I know everything there is to know about what women want and expect from men. I would encourage you to book a session here. If you have, great! She said that i have a bad habit of forgetting things which i do, but its not like i dont care about what she has to say however i acknowledge that women can see that as me not caring. Once you get to the root of the answer you can work your way around that. Hope youre well. But what I can say is that if you continue to take the steps to improve yourself and be happy with the unknown will help you with this process overall. Meaning working on being more positive and happier. I would look up Attached by Amir Levine this is going to help with even more clarity. You need time to really see whats going on and do the work on yourself. She has kept this to herself and there been no mention or any expression of her feeling so we can work together to put it right..or try! So my situation is like this ,i was best friend with this girl for like a year and we were just perfect with each other , always talking and meeting and stuff , but with the time i fell in love with her , the problem is that she has never had a boyfriend and she was too afraid of commitment , so she shut me down many times , until i got fed-up and i just walked away , then she started pursuing me and saying that she wants to be friends again and stuff , i thought i could that but with time i just couldnt do it , she did something really great for me in my birthday and her birthday was during that week too , so i did something very special for her , and she showed her appreciation and love for me , but still as friends, but after that i have just walked away, and i was very cold towards her , and i applied the no contact rule but later after a week she surprised me one morning with a text saying that she loves me and she wants to be involved with me romantically, i was excited and so happy to the degree that i ignored the basics of your teachings , so i acted needy all the time , texting , asking to meet her and every mistake possible , so she pulled away, the problem is that i come from a different background , sex is something prohibited for us until we get married , even a kiss is not allowed and thats okay because its my religion , but the problem is that without that , i am missing a big part of the relationship chemistry because were only involved emotionally and not physically , so i tend to do a lot to make up for that and most of the time that pushes her away , given that she is a very busy person and we hardly meet , so she likes to text a lot .