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Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. 4. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ~ (George Carlin). Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country They don't like women. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ (George Carlin). I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. You don't. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 69. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. 85. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). BAM! There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 62. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Toothpicks? ~ (George Carlin). 82. No nothing. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. Life is a series of dogs. ~ (George Carlin). No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Could it be everyone? We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason. ~ (George Carlin). Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. What's the fucking mystery? But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. ~ (George Carlin). Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. https://t.co/f7cD8Ng2AA. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Deal with it. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. quotes Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Animals are completely innocent. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. ", "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to haveselfish, ignorant leaders. Now I feel better. ~ (George Carlin). WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. An idle mind is the devils workshop. And the devils name is Alzheimers. ~ (George Carlin). The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. 109. Ioanna Zafeiriou ", "There are 200 countries in the world now. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". When you die, it all stays here. Its interested in its own power. It will not be with jack-boots. 13. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~ (George Carlin). 106. 16. Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. by Libertarian Country George Carlin Quotes The people are f***ed. Tits always look better in a pink sweater. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. Something lofty and poetic: "Nay Family Way"; something earthhy and crude: "Mom Bomb"; something for the youngsters, "Junior Miss"; here's a real man's product, "Inconceivable"! Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. But once youre born, youre on your own. 57. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. 35+ George Carlin Quotes To Make I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ~ (George Carlin). 108. It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. 114. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics.He started his career in the radio and in nightclub acts before his breakout in a variety of television shows that made him a popular household name. I think that speaks for itself. Teach them to question everything. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. 81. Though some of these people have always been fans, his social commentary and political criticisms have found new meaning--and a new home--among the right.Though the right-wing and left-wing have "claimed" George Carlin as one of their own heroes, his allegiance was always to himself (another great libertarian tenet), and wasn't going to shill for anyone.If Carlin was ever a hero, it was always for the individual, the rebel, the outcast. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). 74. People like to twist that around. It can help you a lot. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. ~ (George Carlin). He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. TIME takes a look at some of the legendary comedian's most memorable lines. In America, anyone can become president. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. 39. He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. Thats the problem." Best George Carlin Quotes of All Time - LiveAbout So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Maybe this time itll work. People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ~ (George Carlin). Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. The planet is fine. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? They will only bring you down to their level and beat 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. If you enjoyed these quotes, you may also like "26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today", by Libertarian Country 113. If they come back, set them on fire. ~ (George Carlin). And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). 27. Unlikely_Let2616 29 min. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. ", "Careful. 123. Some people see the glass half full. 94. A close adviser to President [], Led Zeppelin is probably the most epic rock band of all time. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Someone outside the circle, looking in. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. 34. First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. 41. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 77. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. George Carlin Quotes George Denis Patrick Carlin or better known as George Carlin is a Grammy Award-winning American solo comedian, actor and writer. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). This is what we have to offer. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. ~ (George Carlin). I just dont have as many people who believe it., "I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Fucking is legal. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. Maybe this time it'll work. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. Every religion is by all means to be respected but the role of the Churches is debatable. Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. I dont vote. George Carlin. 26. 60. "Because Carlin brutally bashed political correctness and used vulgar language--some of which is considered taboo today--many neo-puritan progressives have abandoned him and completely dismissed his brilliant works.It's a tragedy that he was relegated to an unworthy status by so many on the left, considering how deeply sympathetic he was to marginalized groups who have suffered oppression, abuse and mistreatment.